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Talking To Your Partner About Marriage Counseling

By Marissa Velazquez


It is sad to notice that the divorce rate between couples is climbing at an alarming speed. Although each couple may have different reasons for separating, it is a fact that life is stressful due to high prices, low or non-existing incomes and the pressures of society in general. These factors do have a negative influence on marriages. In the past marriage counseling was viewed as a last and embarrassing resort, but now it has become an accepted process that can do wonders for a relationship.

It is not always the case when both persons agree to go for outside assistance. There could be a number of reasons why someone may be hesitant, even if they know that it could help. When you have to discuss going to a counselor with your spouse, it is best if it is done in a certain way, so that the most beneficial outcome can be achieved.

Sometime when you are alone is best, and when neither of you are overly stressed from work or other everyday problems. Do not attempt to discuss the possibility of outside assistance when you are in the middle of an argument. Your partner may then think that you are not serious about the idea, and are only trying to make threats. Try to explain that the purpose will be to solve problems between you, and to improve the quality of your relationship. Try not to make it seem like a punishment, or like your partner will be blamed in the process.

There can only be two outcomes when you speak to your spouse. Either he or she agrees to come with you, or he or she declines the offer. If your spouse refuses, then you can consider going on your own. You can learn some skills to improve your relationship, and when your partner takes note of this, then he or she may be more willing to participate.

It is wonderful if you can come to an agreement to start seeing a counselor. It will surely be a step in the right direction. To help the process along, you can do a few things before your first session, or during the time you are visiting the counselor. It is helpful to be clear upon the goals you would like to achieve, therefore, write down what you and your spouse hope to gain from the sessions.

While you are noting your goals, make a few additional points as well. These will be the things that you feel need work. The types of things that you feel are a problem within your relationship. They can be brought forth to the counselor.

Don't forget to focus on the good things about your marriage as well. Developing a positive attitude towards each other goes a long way when trying to improve a relationship. Write down the good things, and try to stay focused on them, rather than on the negative aspects.

Many couples can benefit from marriage counseling, not only those who are thinking of getting a divorce. Couples who have been under strain from substance abuse or the loss of a child can benefit, and just-married couples can enjoy learning some good communications skills. Try to choose a counselor who is professional and who has credentials.




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